5 reasons why I hate COVID-19

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You realize how many of your friends and family are idiots*

If I’m being honest, this is both a blessing and a curse. On one hand, you get to find out just how stupid the people you associate with are. It’s like realizing your mom is a karen: traumatizing, but you can’t just drop your mom. No matter how awful she is to minimum wage employees, or how many excuses she comes up with for not wearing a mask, she’s still you mom. Still, it does suck to have to listen to your bestie telling you that Corona is a government hoax and that Trump’s administration is the most truthful and amazing government ever in the same breath. 

Mask-cne

Mask Acne. Need I say more? Actually, yes I do need to say more. I have had acne for YEARS. And it was bad. Like I was not genetically blessed like the rest of you freaks. So getting clear skin was a big deal for me (huge). But that was ruined like all other things. First I had to cover up my glorious clear skin as soon as I got it with a mask, and then, AND THEN I just got that acne thrown right back in my face. And for why? Turns out, all that sweat and oil and dead skin that collects inside your mask? Yeah, not too pretty on the pores. 

Prom

This one is big. Seniors last year didn’t even get senior prom. Judging from most high school coming of age movies, prom is a big deal. Now, juniors might not ever get to experience that. I am truly broken up over casino night, more so than prom. I already have a mean face and no emotions. Do you know how amazing I would have been at casino night? I would have cleaned the ENTIRE poker table, no mercy. 

What the heck am I supposed to do for college? 

I’m going to need one of my teachers to fail me so I don’t have to deal with college. I hear that touring colleges is important, yet no one is allowed to go anywhere or do anything. This begs the question, what now? Also, I’ve come to the realization that college may or may not be a hoax. I don’t think jobs even care about college anymore, I think they care about the piece of paper that says “you wasted four years of your life and 200k, congrats.” 

Covid Regulations

The roundabout. Oh, the roundabout. Look, the roundabout in the actual road is a trainwreck. So why, why did we think adding a roundabout in the school was a good plan? How is this even protecting us from covid? The virus looks at us and says ‘ope, they’re staying to the right, guess I can’t infect them now.’ No, it was created simply to make me have to take an entire lap around the school because I’m not allowed to walk eight steps from the 700 hall to the history hallway. Instead, I have to pass go, collect $200, and finish the equivalent of the Boston marathon just to get to AP government. I’m not having it. 

 

*DISCLAIMER: this is not about my own mother. Mrs. Knowles is chill. 

*DISCLAIMER 2: My mother is a teacher.